Monday, February 3, 2014

Time to Rest

Tomorrow is the day... the last day I can hold tight to this dream.  Until I take the final pregnancy test before surgery, I will keep that one last flicker of hope alive that someway, somehow it doesn't have to end this way.  

I'm realistic and know the chances of that are almost non-existent.  I know that God's plan will prevail, whatever it may be... and I want it to!  But I'm also a dreamer who doesn't go down without a fight, so I'll hold onto hope while preparing for the long road ahead of me.

During times like these, it feels so good to be comforted and supported by amazing people.  Most aren't sure what to say or do, which is understandable.  It's okay when words fail and all you can offer is "I'm so sorry."  Anyone who hasn't been through this really can't empathize with exactly what I'm having to process, but we've all endured some kind of loss.  Loss is something people can understand.  Losses connect us and losses have to be grieved.  

The prayers, the hugs, the tears, the outpouring of love, the meals, the spa day, the care packages, and the sweet words on Facebook and in cards... they've ALL comforted my grieving heart. These things have touched my life and have helped make this process a little easier! 

My church family has been amazing with their unending prayers for us, believing that God's plan would prevail, whatever it may be.  They came together and took care of us with more food than we could fit into the back of our Acadia.  That alone removes SO much pressure knowing we'll be fed and won't need to rely on fast food or pizza!  

Saturday I was treated to a spa day and special time of bonding with my bonus son's mom. I needed the relief I felt while soaking in those warm, healing waters and the moments of pampering during a time when I've struggled to feel good about myself at all.  My godmother sent me a big bag of goodies for post-op recovery filled with little things a girl might want or need after such a surgery.  These, and other things, have warmed my heart so much more than they know.  I'm so blessed and grateful!

And today, some amazing girls in my office threw me a surgery shower to lift my spirits!  They gave me a bag filled with bottles of lotion, a blanket, a candle, and other fun goodies AND they brought a full sheet cake... and I got a corner piece!  ;)  I'm surrounded by so much love and support.  It really helps me get through this.

So tonight we'll drive an hour north to stay in a hotel and avoid driving in the upcoming winter storm, expected to begin tomorrow morning.  We'll arrive at the hospital at 6:45 and surgery is set to begin at 8:45.  Both the surgeon and I should be able to make it in without having to reschedule.  I will be admitted for at least an overnight stay, depending on how things go and what's removed.  We're expecting to get between 8 to 10 inches of snow in 24 hours... God's timing is amazing!

This will be my last blog post for a few weeks to allow time to recover and heal, both physically and emotionally.  I also need to take a break from social media, so I won't be posting there for a few weeks either.  Thank you so much for the prayers and sweet wishes!  I'm excited to see what God has in store during this next chapter of "Chrissy"!


  1. I will be praying for you.

  2. Chrissy, words fail me. The pain you are feeling must be indescribable. I pray that you are comforted & find peace, also I pray for a healthy recovery for you from the op.
    I admire you for your strength, & bravery.
    I think a break is good for you, but hope you don't stay away too long as we all miss you <3
    Lou Webb, (mybeautifulmuse) xx

    1. You're amazing, Lou, Thank you!!! I so appreciate the prayers and encouraging words more than you know!!!

  3. Hi! Just found your blog via pinterest, and wanted to tell you that I read and read and read and was so encouraged by your blog! I am saying big prayers for you. It sounds like you are in a fragile spot right now, but God is holding you in his hands...

    1. Thanks SO much, Karrie! It really means the world to me that you took the time to share this... I'm sorry it took me so long to respond. I'm getting better each day!!!!