Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Feel Good Math

Not one ounce of me wanted to do it, but it had to be done.  

I had to step on the scale after eleven weeks of taking a break from weighing myself and  continuing to swim.  In my head I was convinced I'd gained a bunch of weight during that time.  I hadn't been able to work out since April 3rd because of the pain.  I hadn't been eating right, I hadn't logged food, I hadn't held myself as accountable for the choices I was making.  My new, smaller-sized clothes weren't fitting the way they did when I purchased them, so (internal thoughts) "I must have completely blown it".

But I didn't.

I didn't wreck the whole thing and I didn't blow it.  Instead, I actually surprised myself... and made myself REALLY PROUD!  I only gained 8 pounds during that time!  EIGHT!  Seriously?  I thought for sure it would be worse than that!

When I think back to those weeks I see that, although I wasn't logging food daily, I was saying no a lot when part of me desired to overeat or eat when I wasn't really hungry.  Many days I couldn't handle small amounts of food without feeling really full and nauseous.  I wasn't running to food for comfort as often as I used to in that kind of situation.  I wasn't feeling defeated.  I wasn't allowing my circumstances to overtake me and ruin everything.  

I didn't fail!  

I trusted God to get me through.  I gave myself a break because I couldn't help that I was in pain.  I knew this would pass.  I didn't allow myself to be a victim.  I listened for God's voice and looked for lessons I could learn.  I stayed patient.  I believed in His timing.  I believed this would help me in the future and trusted there was a reason.  I held tight to my dreams.  I shut Satan down and ignored his lies.  I never gave up.

After my surgery in August of last year, I gained back the 25 pounds I'd previously lost.  This time, it's only 8 pounds... and boy does that kind of math make me feel good!  :)

Now, on to the next chapter of my story!