Thursday, June 27, 2013

Just Keep Swimmin'

I'm back and recovery is going great!  I'm healing so much faster this time around compared to last August's surgery and it's super encouraging!  Some days have been more difficult than others, but I'm feeling better each day.  My follow-up with the surgeon was fabulous!  She released me to return to work next Monday... a week earlier than expected.  I'll also be able to return to the gym in another week to slowly ease back into fitness... and eventually I'll be ready to do Zumba again (CANNOT WAIT!)  It feels so great to be validated that all the pain I endured for weeks was actually caused by three somethings... and it wasn't all in my head!

Satan started working on me again during recovery, trying to discourage me by putting thoughts in my head that have me questioning my future, my dreams, and my capabilities.  But I continue to shut him out and focus on God!  I believe things are happening in their proper timing, so I move forward and trust in what God's going to do in my life.  Desperate for inspiration last week, I revisited my Amazon wish list and finally ordered some books I've been wanting for months (some for years)!  Check 'em out!


Satan will NOT get the best of this girl... I'm over his shenanigans.  I'm getting my motivation on!  Great things WILL happen in my life that will help others and make me a better person.  

I refuse to settle.  I refuse to give up.  And although I'm definitely not where I expected to be with my weight at this point, I'm spiritually, emotionally, and physically stronger than I was when I started on December 28, 2011.  I'm going to dive into these books to focus on my relationship with God, my dream career, weight loss, creating new habits that stick, and the continued pursuit of my dreams.

It hasn't been easy and some days I've felt like giving up.  But I won't quit.  I plan to keep swimming.

FYI: My next blog entry will be posted on Monday, July 1!

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

I Will Love This Life

Week one of recovery is now behind me... and was a success!  I've been in pain, as expected, but it's been significantly better than my surgery last August.  I haven't cried at all, which is a pretty big deal for this cry-baby!  I just felt so much relief that my pain would soon come to an end and life would get back to normal shortly... it's like I could breathe again.

It's been difficult to rest as much as I need to, but I have to do it!  Even though I know better - and others have told me their "take it from me" stories - I had to learn the hard way that doing too much too soon isn't the best thing.  Every day I feel a little better... again, slow progress is still progress!  

Oh yeah, this is my first blog post since surgery so you don't know the low-down!  Surgery went really well and I was able to go home the same day.  They removed my malfunctioning gallbladder, removed surgical adhesions from my previous surgery (this is what was causing my severe, lower-right abdominal pain), and removed more endometriosis.  No hernia was found and my appendix looked healthy, so the surgeon left it in there!  And for those of you concerned, the lady parts looked good, too!  :)

With the amount of surgery I ended up having, I'll get to return to work a week earlier than expected... and that means my dreams are even closer to reality than I'd hoped!  In my bones I feel that big things are in store for my life.  I feel those dreams I've been envisioning for so long, pursuing for months now, are GOING to become my reality! I believe God's plan is so much better than what I could create.  His timing is perfect and everything I've been through has been for amazing reasons I'll come to know.  I'm excited to see where my life goes, but I'm also trying to stay present in these moments and embrace what they bring.  I don't want to spend my life rushing to to the next big thing and not enjoying where I am.  

I will love this life... every moment of it.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Surgery Day... Again!

Week 12 of pain begins today... but surgery is scheduled for tomorrow!  I endured the first part of this challenge and I know I can endure the second.  When the doctor called and asked when I was available for surgery, I was THRILLED!  It felt like there was finally an end in sight and my pain would be resolved soon!  

But now, the night before surgery, it's all beginning to sink in and memories of the painful recovery after my surgery last August are entering my mind.  Pre-surgery jitters are always normal, but I have faith that God is with me and knows exactly what needs to happen. It's all gonna work out fine!

After a few days out of town at the boy's baseball tournament, I was blessed with some extra time to clean and get ready for the next four to six weeks of recovery.  I can already feel the effects of cleaning, but I figure this is nothing compared to how I'll feel tomorrow.  I'm trying so hard not to get down about my recent weight gain caused by lack of working out and eating more food... and choosing any foods I want (like non-healthy choices).  But I won't let that get me down and I can't focus on it right now.  I know that when I recover, I'll get a third wind and will jump right back on track.  I feel it in my bones!  

This delay will NOT stop me.  I have plans to continue pressing on towards my dreams, never giving up.  I fully believe my dream of losing weight and maintaining a healthy life WILL come true.  I won't allow Satan to keep me off track.  I will overcome.  I will turn this setback into a comeback!  

I'm not sure when I'll feel like posting again, so please bare with me as I recover.  I'll be back when the time is right and will fill you in on how things are going!  I do want to thank you so much for your continued support and positivity in this journey.  I'm so honored that you care and believe in me.  It really helps me believe in myself and stay focused and motivated!  This path would be so much more difficult to walk on my own.  

So until my next post...

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Your Path & Destination

We all know it.  Being patient can be difficult.  And when you're in pain it can seem even harder.  

I've constantly had to remind myself these past 11 weeks that God has a plan.  He has a REALLY GOOD REASON I'm enduring this.  He's molding and shaping me for something amazing, I just can't see it yet.  This is temporary.  This is not the end of my dreams and it's not all there is for me.  I believe, I trust, I'm hopeful.

And repeat.

I remind myself of these on a daily basis, sometimes multiple times a day.  Because let's be honest, it's not always easy to endure it.  I get frustrated.  I get angry.  I feel sad.  And if I'm not careful, I can easily slip into victim mode before I know what hit me.  

The key to overcoming is the constant repetition of what will help you move toward your dreams and out of what keeps to stuck.  Whether it's weight loss, financial struggles, overcoming an addiction, forgiveness, or any other thing you want to leave behind to improve in your life, you MUST keep trying over and over again.  And when you mess up, forgive yourself and move forward.

When you find yourself in the middle of a really awful time where you feel like giving up, please don't.  Please keep trying, even if you make slow progress.  Always remember... slow progress is still progress!  It's moving you in the direction of your dreams!  It's bringing you closer to overcoming!  And just because things aren't as you see them in your dream, it doesn't mean you aren't headed for that dream to come true!

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Finally... An End In Sight!


I'm so thrilled!  
I talked with the surgeon and received great news!  There’s finally an end in sight!!!  The pipida scan results indicated I have a malfunctioning gallbladder.  This is in addition to what's causing the pain I've felt for the last 11 weeks and the surgeon feels it may be an occult inguinal hernia.  During surgery she'll be looking for/removing/fixing:
occult inguinal hernia
surgical adhesions
possible appendix issues
and some other medical terms I can't remember.
The official date of surgery is next Monday, June 10 at 10:45 with a recovery time of 4 to 6 weeks.  YAY!
I'm SO thrilled we finally have some kind of resolution!  It feels like there will actually be an end to this constant pain.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not stoked for the actual surgery and the pain that follows, but knowing it will mean I'm another step closer to my dreams ignites my soul and spirit!  
This is a moment I clearly see God's timing at work.  It's a moment I feel so blessed to have held on and not given up.  I hold onto hope believing God will continue to take care of my needs.  I have no doubts He will get me through this next challenging time.


Monday, June 3, 2013

God Sees You Differently

You'll find a reoccurring theme here at Overweight... AND OVER IT!  That theme is overcoming insecurity and inferiority.  I'm a constant work in progress.  Some days it feels like all I do is tell the devil to shut up, leave me alone, and stop it with the lies!  Then, I take a breath and ask God to help me see myself the way He sees me.  

And repeat.

While we're living on this earth we will always be tempted.  Satan will constantly try to make us stumble and stray from the path God desires us to take.  He'll put thoughts in our head to get our focus off God and onto ourselves.  He'll bring up the mistakes we've made in the past - even mistakes that God has forgiven us for.  He'll try to make us feel unloved, useless, and unworthy.  He'll make us aware of what others are saying and doing.  He'll make us question what they're thinking.  He'll lead us to compare your own lives with what we see of theirs.  

And instantly, our focus is no longer on God.  We're now consumed with insecurity, inferiority, negativity, and drama.  

I've noticed the more I reach out to God, asking for help in feeling His love for me, in seeing myself through His loving, compassionate eyes, the easier it is to recognize when Satan attacks.  And my recovery time is usually faster, too!  The constant repetition is strengthening my self-esteem and building my feelings of security in Christ.  Satan will attack... he doesn't plan on stopping any time soon.  God wants us to turn to Him in our struggles AND our joyous times!  1 Peter 5:6-7 says "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you."  He wants us to lay those burdens down at His feet!  He asks us to come to Him and trust His plan and timing.  

Although it's not always the easiest thing to do, I've never been let down or disappointed when I've humbled myself and relied on Him.  In fact, I've been blessed beyond measure and have been more happy with how it all worked out in the end!  God KNOWS what He's doing.  It's time to shut out Satan's voice and crank God's volume.  It's time to reach out and ask God to help us view ourselves through His eyes.  It's time to trust Him.