Tuesday, November 20, 2012

That Stupid Number

When we envision our dream of losing weight, most of us see a number in our heads.  We picture a certain amount of pounds we'd like to lose in order to get to our "healthy" weight.  Sure, it can vary within a range, but we see ourselves one day saying "I lost __ pounds!"
No matter how attainable it seems or how attainable it is, putting too much focus on the amount of weight we want to lose can set us up to quit.  I feel pretty certain most of you aren't trying to lose weight for the first time.  You've been here before, more than once.  It worked for a while and then "something happened" and you stopped trying.  
You gave up.  
It felt too hard.  
The mountain seemed too big to climb.  
You settled with the way things are.  
And some of you found yourself gaining the weight back... and then some.

*I've been there several times.*
When I started my blog on December 28, 2011, I set a goal to lose 50 pounds by the end of this yearLosing 50 pounds in one year isn't unrealistic... it's attainable.  But I never accounted for or anticipated the plateaus, the endometriosis pain, the surgery, the recovery, the weight gain during and after the recovery, or the struggle to get back on track afterwards.  I didn't "really" consider that it takes a lot of time to create new, good habits.  I didn't "really" consider that I have to retrain my mind to think about food and situations in a different way.  I didn't "really" consider that working out in my basement might get old and boring.  I didn't "really" consider the obstacles and tricks Satan would throw my way.
For a few days I felt like giving up on this journey... again.  For a few days I felt like a failure because I wasn't going to reach that 50 pound goal and "people would see that I failed" (inferiority and insecurity).  But I kept having faith that the dreams God placed in my heart were too important to give up on!  He showed me that my journey could be used as an example of how to NOT give up... an example of how to overcome the adversity we face and to ignore the lies and attacks from Satan.  He whispered in my ear, "Daughter, don't give up this time."
So I won't!

There are so many things we have to change about our lives to be successful in losing weight and staying healthy.  It's unrealistic to expect it to happen as quickly as we'd like.  As you may have noticed, I haven't posted my current weight, nor have I been weighing every Wednesday... or at all since I started the gym.  I'm trying to get away from that number and focus on the things I'm doing to improve my life and get me closer to that goal!  I'm OVER how Satan tries to make me feel inferior because I'm not losing weight as fast as someone else or making me feel insecure because I haven't lost a certain amount by a certain date.  
That number doesn't define me.  
That number doesn't tell me, or anyone else, how far I've come with how I look at food, the emotional connection I'm breaking with it, or the moments of little victories I  experience when I overcome a personal challenge.  This journey is about changing my WHOLE life, not just decreasing a number that shows up on the scale when I step on it.  
I see my dream... I envision it... I can imagine how it feels to be thinner, wearing smaller sizes, and shopping in stores because I like their clothes, not because they carry plus sizes.  I KNOW this is going to happen for me.  

So the fact that I know it's going to happen somehow frees me from caring about "when" it happens.  I feel more free when I experience things I do well, when I complete a workout, when I resist the temptation to submit to a craving, when I find myself enjoying smaller portions of the foods I like, when I find myself thanking God for the blessings in life and the lessons I'm learning in this journey.
You might need to remind yourself over and over and over and over again that "a number doesn't matter".  Shift your focus and tell Satan where to go!  He wants to keep you feeling down, depressed, overwhelmed, wanting to punish yourself, feeling sad, defeated, angry, fighting with your spouse and children, stressed out over money, and all the other chaos you feel in your life.  But, as my dad preached about Sunday morning, SATAN CAN'T MAKE US DO ANYTHING WE DON'T WANT TO DO!  
WE choose how we feel, how we react, what we think, and what we do.  WE choose.  He can set us up, but we don't have to give in and go along with it. "Therefore, submit to God.  Resist the devil and he will flee from you."  James 4:7   Keep resisting the devil and his schemes and he'll eventually decrease his attacks on you.  Clearly, he won't stop altogether, but it will certainly get easier.  And, your reliance on the Lord to help you through all the adversity gets you closer to Him!  WHAT A BONUS!  This is one of the greatest things I've experienced personally in my journey.  I love telling Satan where to go and to get away from me.  
WE have authority over him through Christ... he has NO authority over us.  He has to flee when we command it... so let's use it to our advantage!  I see it working in my life to get me closer to my dreams so I know it can work for you if you just have faith, believe, and try!



  1. Amen to all of the above. It is hard being sometimes and hard to remember that God made us to be different from every other woman out there.

  2. I couldn't agree more... comparison can get us into trouble so easily and it's really helpful to remember God made us unique, and in HIS image!!!