Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Caught A Glimpse


While rockin' some dance moves in Hip Hop Hustle last night, I caught a few glimpses of myself in the wall of mirrors.  In my mind I look like a modest Shakira or Britney Spears.  In real life, not so much.  

Suddenly, I found myself on a fast spiral of self criticism.  I started feeling embarrassed about my body and how overweight I looked.  I started noticing others in the room and wondered what they were thinking about me.  I started wishing I'd worn different clothes... or had better ones to choose from.  I started wishing my face wasn't broken out with acne because of the hormone issues I'm dealing with from the endometriosis. I started feeling grossed out by my hair and muffin top and my booty looked much larger than I realized.

 (Source)

INSECURITY!!!

INFERIORITY!!! 

"Gross!  Get away from me, Satan... I'm tryin' to dance!!!"

And just like that I was able to talk back to those thoughts.  I reminded myself, again, that we're all here to lose weight and/or be fit and healthy!  Other women in the room may be struggling with similar feelings of insecurity and inferiority and they're probably not thinking about me but trying, themselves, to stay in the game.  I reminded myself of how blessed I am to have clothes to choose from.  Period.  I reminded myself this acne is temporary and it doesn't change who I am inside.  I said "maybe if you'd wash your hair every once in a while"... okay, just kiddingBut I did say 'you're working out - who cares what your hair looks like?"  The muffin top and booty... well, it is what it is.  But guess what... IT'S SHRINKING!

AND, I'm going back for Zumba tonight!

Talk back to those thoughts.  
Tell the devil where to go.  
Keep dancin' or doin' what it is you do to get fit.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
Make your dream happen!


  

2 comments:

  1. Good for you! You are going and you are doing great!!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Pam!!!!! I have to keep focused and make this dream come true!! :)

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