Friday, August 31, 2012

Without The Rain...

Hurricane (now tropical depression) Issac has made his way to Kansas City.  We're LOVING the rain!  This summer's drought has been brutal.  You can almost hear the Earth saying "Ahhh!".  I continue to pray for those in Lousiana, Mississippi, Florida, and Alabama who've had to endure this storm and the destruction that followed.  Although it wasn't as awful as Katrina, it certainly brought back a lot of emotions and fear for those who were so traumatized by it, yet managed to endure. 

But that's how life is.  Just when we think we've dealt with a struggle and we're finally "over it", something sneaks around the corner and hits us unexpectedly.  

Where did this come from? 

Why does this still bother me? 

I should be way past this by now!

Just pause, relax, and take a breath.  Some things in life take longer to process than we'd like.  But every time we face those feelings, we process a little more than the time before.  We begin to move further away from the hurt and pain and move closer to the lessons we can take with us... closer to the blessings we find in the present.  Those difficult times from our past help us appreciate the beauty of today.


A good friend shared this tasty, flavor-packed greek salad recipe with me, so I had to pass it on to you.  I hope you enjoy it!

Greek Salad
One of each of the following veggies, sliced or diced to your preference:
Small red onion
Cherry tomatoes
Green bell pepper
Black kalamata olives
Feta cheese
Lettuce (optional)

Use a dressing made with extra virgin olive oil, red wine vinegar, and mix in garlic powder, coarse sea salt, coarse black pepper, and dried oregano.  To add some kick, toss in some Greek pepperoncini peppers at the end.  Delicious!

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Wednesday Wow Factor!

* Disclaimer * I realize it is Thursday.  When I started writing this post I thought it was Wednesday (my days have been a little off lately).  I didn't want to stop and I figured you would understand!   :)

Week 35
Start date
: 12/28/11
Initial weight:
Current weight:
This week's loss
?  (Will weigh again next Wednesday)
Total weight loss:
20 pounds

Last week's dream focus
: Rest.

What went well:  I haven’t given up on my dreams!  I’ve forced myself to rest and allow others to help me (and tried not to fight it).  I surrounded myself with uplifting people and words to keep me from getting down and depressed.

Challenges:  Pain, overwhelming emotions, and low self-esteem have been my biggest challenges this month.  I’m on a lot of new medication and it’s causing me to have emotional ups and downs, not to mention the outbreak of acne from the change in hormones (GRR!). 
I know I’ve gained weight because I haven’t been eating the way I was prior to surgery.  Lots of comfort foods and fast food (because it was easy and convenient for the family while I was out of commission) have added to this, in addition to practically a month of lying down and being inactive. 
I haven’t logged a meal since the day before my surgery.  I had to take a break from all of that and just focus on getting better.  I didn’t pig out, mostly because my stomach hurt more when it was full, but also because the thought of out of control eating made me feel gross!  YAY!  DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH PROGRESS THAT IS???  IT’S HUGE!!!  (Move THIS up to “What went well”!)
So let me be frank.  There were times I wanted to quit this month.  I’ve felt awful about myself.  I’ve felt depressed.  I’ve felt like I wanted to give up on this dream of losing weight and being healthy, not to mention a few other dreams.  I’ve felt very defeated.  I was haunted by a past illness and dark time in my life.  It’s been rough.  But these feelings are natural and part of my journey.  I had to experience them to have a clear view of where I am now and how blessed my life is, even through challenges and trials. 
This week's dream focus:  Start getting back into my good routines like eating healthy, logging my food intake, being more aware of calories, eating less sweets, and surrounding myself with positivity and encouragement!

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Willingness To Wait

Isn't your dream worth waiting for?  Even with setbacks, delays, hurdles, obstacles, challenges, valleys, fear, frustration, anxiety, and every other overwhelming aspect we face, I believe the dreams in our hearts were put there for a reason and are worth waiting for. 

...and they're worth fighting for.

Fear has been creeping in on me again... especially this month during recovery.  And Fear's old counterpart Doubt has joined the party.  It has me doubting my dreams, doubting my abilities, doubting the process, and doubting the future.   But I won't let fear and doubt win.  I won't give up.  I knew this was going to be hard.  I knew I would want to throw in the towel at some point (and not on only one occasion).  I knew I'd mess up more than once.  I knew these bad habits of overeating, emotional eating, and not being physically active would take time, effort and determination to change. 

So I'm continuing on in my journey at my own pace, doing only what I can handle every day.  I won't set unreasonable expectations for myself only to be let down.  I'll make my goals attainable.  I know I have to work hard to change my responses to emotions... and sometimes that means focusing to change the way I think and feel about food, exercise, and life. 

We can't forget that losing weight and getting healthy isn't only about eating less, eating different foods, and moving more.  It's largely about the way we think about food and fitness, who we surround ourselves with, and how we handle situations in life.  When we retrain our brains, the physical aspects come more naturally.  Yes, they still take work and effort.  You might have sore muscles, but you're more likely to embrace it rather than hate it!

Be easy on yourself!  Be willing to wait!  Be okay with slow progress!  (Remember, slow progress is still progress.)

Here are the pictures I promised!  Here are the sweet animals who've been by my side all month.  You remember Dixie and Tallulah... they "tried" to overlook their differences to be there in my time of need.  It worked well the first two days...

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

I've Got To Keep On Movin'

Hello beautiful friends!  I've missed blogging so much and I've missed hearing from you!  I can't thank you enough for your understanding and patience while I've taken this much needed break. 

(Sorry for the cheesy Matthew Wilder "Break My Stride" reference.  I hope it's stuck in your head now, too!  Admit it, it's a catchy, cheesetastic song and you love to hate it!  AND ole' Matt has a sweet 'stache and some crazy leather pants.  I'm sure they had to pour him into those.  Yuck.)

I'm tellin' ya, this recovery process has been a challenge... much more overwhelming than I ever anticipated.  It's been more emotional, more painful, and more debilitating.  There have been ups and downs.  There have been good days and bad days.  I've been overwhelmed.  I've been scared.  I've felt depressed.  I've cried.  I've had to rely on others for help. 

When you're used to taking care of everyone else, it can be really difficult to accept help from others.  You feel like you have a job to do but you're failing.  You feel like a burden and an inconvenience.  But I was so blessed to have wonderful friends and family to think of me, pray for me, take care of me, bring food to us, send cards and flowers... true angels in our time of need!  Oh, and let's not forget the pets who were by my side through it all... (I'll share lots of pictures of this in tomorrow's post)!

The best news is I'm on the mend and starting to feel a little more like myself every day!  I'm coming out of the valley and getting back on the path to wellness!

This surgery has brought struggles and set backs.  I have to keep reminding myself that this is happening in God's timing and He knows the reasons and what's in store for me.  I'm not at all where I expected or wanted to be with my weight loss in the end of August. 

BUT IT'S OKAY!  I can't get defeated!  Instead, I'll focus on the positives:
* I didn't give up!
* I'm still trying!
* God knows the reasons this is happening and I can trust Him!
* Every day is new!
* I have a great support system of people who will uplift me when I'm down!
* When I'm feeling able, I'll start working out again, feeling energized and renewed!
* I won't be in pain everyday now that the endometriosis is removed!

Monday, August 13, 2012

Slow Progress

Hey everyone!  Thanks so much for being patient during my break.  This post-op recovery has been much more difficult than I ever anticipated.  Today is the first day I've even attempted to reach for my laptop... and being on it today is causing pain and discomfort.

I just wanted to quickly update you on how I'm doing.  On August 1, a significant amount of endometriosis was found and removed, in addition to the other surgical procedures.  I was told the recovery from these combined procedures is more painful than a woman who has just given birth or had a C-section.  I've never been in those situations but this has been very painful and not fun at all.  I've been off work for two weeks and am working half days at home this week, doing only what I can handle. 

It's super difficult not being able to do the things I normally do, to ask for help, to let others take care of me. 


I've had to find additional patience and accept that it's happening the way it's supposed to in the right timing.  I'm trying my best to stay off my feet and be okay with slow progress. 

I appreciate all your thoughts, prayers, well wishes, and patience through this!  I plan to blog only when I'm feeling up to it, so don't worry if I miss some days.  I'll let you know when I'm feeling back in full swing!

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Wednesday Wow Factor!

Week 31
Start date
: 12/28/11
Initial weight:
Current weight:
This week's loss
: ?  (On break from weigh-ins)
Total weight loss:
20 pounds

Last week's dream focus
: Spend time evaluating my true soul dream - that powerful driving force in my heart that keeps me coming back to this journey of losing weight.

What went well:  I haven’t given up on my dream!

Challenges:  Pain, pain, and more pain.  I’ve really been gravitating towards comfort foods, probably because I’m not feeling well.  I’ve tried so hard not to beat myself up for eating those foods.  I know this period is temporary and will soon be behind me, it’s just been frustrating.

This week's dream focus:  Rest.  My surgery is today and recovery will take some time, so I need to focus on having patience and not doing too much before my body is ready.  I find it difficult to just rest, relax, and let others help me, so this might be somewhat of a challenge.  I know I can do it!

So for the next several days I'm taking a break from blogging.  I'm not setting a date for my next post because I don't want to feel obligated if I'm not ready to write.  I'll just plan on posting again when I'm up to it! 

Thanks so much for your thoughts, prayers, and well wishes!  Your support means more to me than you realize.  I'm excited to talk with you again soon!   GOD IS IN CONTROL!!!!