Friday, July 27, 2012

It's Already Inside

Did you dig deep to discover your soul resolutions and dreams after reading my ‘You’ve Got to Really Want This’ post?  If so, were you able to determine what you care enough about to apply the hard work it will take to get you there? 
I went on a serious treasure hunt within and if felt great to remember exactly why I continue making my way through this quick sand I’m in!  Some things I determined for myself are:

* I’m not trying to get “skinny”.  My dream is to be healthy!

* I don’t need my weight to be in the “double digits” or even under 120 pounds.  My dream is to find myself in the healthy weight range for my height!

* I don’t want attention.  My dream is to share my story with others who experience the same struggles so I can support, inspire, and motivate them to turn their dreams into their reality!

* I don’t want to attempt taking control over my life.  My dream is to fully rely on God for everything, turning to Him to fill the emotional needs I once masked with food!

* I’m not seeking the approval of others.  My dream is to be secure and confident in myself!

* I’m not looking for a perfect bill of health.  My dream is that my weight and eating habits won’t be the cause of health issues!

* I’m not looking to run a marathon or be perfectly toned.  My dream is to feel good in the clothes I wear and not get out of breath when I walk or dance!

So now I’m focused on what I REALLY want!  I’m motivated, inspired, and ready to take over my little world!  But what happens when the weekend rolls around and I’m tempted by sugary sweets or I’m faced with a stressful situation that could lead me to fall into those old habits of emotional eating?  What if that high I’m feeling now goes right out the window in a heartbeat?

I think I’ve found a way focus so I’ll be less likely to lose all control and fall back into those old habits.  If you’ve written down a list of your personal advantages for losing weight, it’s time to get them out and take another look.  If you haven’t made a list, I encourage you to make one.  Reading this list needs to become a habit, even on days we’re feeling unmotivated.  That’s when we’ll want to spend a little more time with it.

I have a list of advantages I’ve defined for myself.  I entered them in my iPhone calendar with an alarm that goes off three times a day (around typical eating times).  My commitment is to read them before I eat to help me focus.  But let's be honest... it can only work if you actually read them.  It does no good to ignore the alarm and tell yourself you can handle this one on your own.  We’re still a work in progress… and that’s okay!  (NOTE TO SELF!)

But I’m finding after eight months even those advantages aren’t always enough to push me into making the right decisions, so I want to improve my list. 
Before I tell you what that is, let me make it clear that I’m not a fan of living in the past.  I fully believe we can be driven towards our dreams by reflecting on where we’ve been, where we are, and where we want to go.  So to improve my list, I want to add disadvantages to it.  This is not to beat myself up, but to help deliver the same message in a different way.  Please be sure you’re emotionally ready before you follow my lead.  If you’ve never tried listing your advantages, start there.  If you have and it’s no longer as effective as it once was, you might find this beneficial.

Now I’ve been known to talk myself into doing what I want because the advantages I defined look too far off in the moment.  My old habits take over and I talk myself out of doing what’s right and into doing what I want to do.  Frankly, I want what I want (Mexican food, continuing shovel food in my mouth after I’m politely full, being lazy and not exercising) when I want it – in that moment.  After all, I’m free to decide what I do with my life, right? 

The idea is to add an alternate view of where making a poor decision will lead me (away from my dream and back into the miserable, unhappy person I once was… remembering I’m no longer that person and I surely don’t want to go there again).  The choice is still mine, but now there’s an additional level of accountability I’ve set for myself.

Here’s an example of three advantages I’ve previously defined and the disadvantage I added today:
Advantage:  I will lower my cholesterol!
Disadvantage:  Having high cholesterol can cause additional health issues such as angina, coronary artery disease, heart attack, stroke, and cancer.  I’ll feel embarrassed and depressed every time my doctor checks my cholesterol levels and finds they are continuously high, suggesting I take medication to correct it.  Taking the medication isn’t good for my body and could cause side additional effects.

Advantage:  I will like myself more!
Disadvantage:  I will beat myself up for failing at yet another attempt to lose weight, sinking into feelings of depression and defeat.  My unhappiness will affect those around me, including my spouse, family, friends, co-workers, and strangers.  I won’t be an encouragement and inspiration to myself or others if I don’t make my dream of losing weight and maintaining a healthy lifestyle come true.

Advantage:  My back and body won't hurt as much!
Disadvantage:  Having back pain can be debilitating, causing me to become less active and more embarrassed about myself and what I’m able to do.  A sore body makes me crabby and cranky and it can suck the joy right out of my soul.  I will feel like being more sedentary, setting me up to gain additional weight, and getting further away from my dream.

These advantages and disadvantages came from my heart.  They aren't a list of rules made up by some diet company or a skinny doctor who doesn't know what it's like to be an emotional eater. 

The ball is in my court.  I can move towards my dream, stay right where I am, or go back to the person I once was.  No one can decide for me.  It's up to me. 


  1. I really love your honest confession in tonight's post. I love your realistic and truthful goals and I love the way you reflect on both the advantages of what you want to accomplish and why. the last quote is my favorite. we all have our voice whispering inside of us all day long--and its a unique voice. This so rings true to me heart. My goals are to be healthy both mentally and physically. continue to develop my passion by writing almost everyday if I can and finish by book by my own deadlines to my own personal satisfaction. I want these things because it's not just about accomplishing a goal and a dream--it's about making my heart and soul feel complete.

    1. Thanks, E!!! I love your support and you know how much I support you!!!! I'm glad this post helped...