This weekend I attended 'The Capable Woman' conference at my church. It was amazing! God moved in a mighty way and I was purged, cleansed, and renewed in my spirit.
When I say I was "purged", I just mean I let go of a lot of "junk" I've been carrying for weeks, months, even years. Toxic, gross "junk" I pretend to have dealt with but, in reality, I just keep shoving it back down inside me. I've either ignored it because I don't want to deal with conflict, I've tried to lay it down but I keep picking it back up, or a multitude of other reasons I choose to continue carrying it around. With all that toxicity inside, there wasn't enough room for God to consume me the way I truly desire... the way He desires. I just had to let it go, get it out, and make room for Him so I can move where He leads.
And it wasn't pretty.
In fact, it was really ugly.
I cried so loud.
I cried so hard I couldn't catch my breath.
I cried so hard it created little bruise spots by my eyelids that are still there today.
But I had amazing women of God praying for me and with me. They hugged me and told me to let it all go... the same thing I had been urging the women at the conference to do all weekend. I felt that God kept me together during the conference so I could keep things moving and do what needed to be done. But during our final time at the altar, when all my responsibilities were behind me, I was able to really let it go and begin to heal.
I can't describe how different I felt after I really let it go. I truly felt like weights had been lifted from me. I feel like a different person! I really feel like I'll get to my dreams much faster now without that baggage.
See, we can realize our dreams and begin to move in the direction of them, but we can only get so far if we keep holding on to "junk" from our past. It's like carrying a backpack full of rocks on our chest, back, waist, thighs, and ankles. It weighs us down, makes it hard to keep going with an authentic smile on our face, it hurts, it makes us cranky and that crankiness affects others in a negative way. And just the way other people can crush our dreams and suck the positivity from our lives, we can do the same to others if we aren't careful.
We have to determine what "junk" we're holding on to and then get rid of it! Remove that weight so we can run fast to our dreams! Remove that weight so we can smile and really mean it. Remove that weight to strengthen our relationships with others and God. Remove that weight so we can be an encouragement and inspiration to those we come in contact with.
And just so you know, you'll probably find yourself purging more than once in your life, especially if you continue holding onto things we should give to God. After all, we're human and have a tendency to want control. But amazing things happen when we surrender that control and put God first!
We aren't perfect. We're going to mess up. Psalm 73:26 says "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." This just blesses my heart in ways I cannot verbalize. It's not an excuse to do things we shouldn't, but rather a promise that when we do make mistakes and find ourselves doing things we know aren't of God, He won't stop loving us. He'll never leave. He'll never turn His back.
Trust in Him, let things go, and take His hand as you move towards your dreams!
It was uncomfortable at first.