I can't believe it. I started this blog one year ago today! The time has flown by and so much has happened in my life. God has blessed me and carried me through some difficult times. I am forever grateful, humbled, and praising His name!!!
The choices I've made in my life have brought me where I am today. And not just the good choices, but the bad, too. I chose to do what I wanted instead of listening to God in several situations and it led to guilt and shame... and overeating, which led to weight gain and declining health.
I'm now trying to learn from those mistakes! I want to be smarter, wiser, and obey God's voice even when His plan is different than mine. I believe He knows what's best for me and it's for my good to further His kingdom. I love that! YAY GOD! You're AMAZING!
I want to reflect on some of the things God has carried me through this past year. Some serious high points and some low ones, but over all, I kept my faith strong in Him and He never left my side!
- I created my blog, sharing my high and low points - and everything in between - with the world!
- I found the courage to share my blog posts on my personal Facebook page with friends, family, and co-workers (after days of avoiding it and trying to run... and not throw up)!
- I eventually created a Facebook page and have reached over 1,080 'likes" (WHAT?)
- The 'Dare to Dream' group I started at work grew in strength and numbers, and continues to meet twice a week! Great connections have been made and the message of how recognizing and following your dreams can ignite you is traveling fast across the large corporation!
- 'Dare to Dream' now has it's own intranet space with blogs I post to motivate and encourage associates to dream and not give up hope! The space is now connected with other internal spaces, such as the corporate career/job posting page!
- I've continued to log my food for a year and have attempted to eat around 1,800 calories a day (good days and bad, of course)!
- In May, I started having severe pain that was, at times, debilitating and kept me from moving much. It resulted in surgery to remove a significant amount of endometriosis, in addition to a few other procedures. Recovery was much slower and more painful than I anticipated. I did very little moving for about a month and emotionally, I was really down and low with uncertainty about my dream of having a child of my own. After suffering a total of three miscarriages, two within two months of each other in the fall of 2011, I began to question if the dream was worth the heartache I felt. This span of time slowed my weight loss down and found me gaining back half the weight I'd already lost. BUT I NEVER LOST TOUCH WITH MY DREAM OF GETTING RID OF IT AND MAINTAINING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE!
Okay, now back at it!
- I received fitness gifts for Christmas last year and began doing Zumba and other fitness DVDs in my basement for a few months!
- That got boring and, after recovery from my surgery, I FINALLY joined a gym and have been actively committed since the middle of October!
- God has helped me discover how Satan uses insecurity and inferiority to keep us unfruitful, unproductive, and miserable - comparing ourselves to others and feeling terrible about our lives. He's helped me stand against the gross devil and overcome!
- Although I still struggle and battle with those feelings, I've come a lot further than I did in past attempts to lose weight! I'm working hard to change my heart and the emotional connection to food, and I feel really good about the person I'm becoming!
- You may have noticed I'm not mentioning an amount of weight lost... that's because I'm trying to break my relationship with the scale and I'm focusing more on forming new, good habits. The number will follow in time and it'll all work out!
- With the support of my husband, I overcame a few near-meltdowns in retail clothing stores. This is a big deal!
- I've continued focusing on my dreams and started a dream book (using a Smash book and accessories). It's helped me keep my dreams alive and my focus on making them my reality! I'm getting closer!
- The biggest victory for me this year... I HAVEN'T GIVEN UP! Even when I messed up and felt like a failure, I haven't stopped desiring to see my dream come true... and that's part of what's kept me connected on this journey. The support of family, friends, and you - the followers of this blog, has meant the WORLD to me. I really can't thank y'all enough!
I haven't lost as much weight as I originally thought I would by this time, but I'm okay with that. My dream is to get rid of it and keep it off, no matter how long that takes. I'm happy with slow progress because it means I'm moving in the direction of my dreams. If you're on a similar journey, please don't give up, even when it seems too difficult or overwhelming. Just keep trying and moving forward. Believe in yourself and surround yourself with people who believe in you, too.
WE CAN DO THIS!
2012... it's been fun.
2013... let's make it ten times better!