Friday, December 28, 2012

It's Been One Year!

I can't believe it.  I started this blog one year ago today!  The time has flown by and so much has happened in my life.  God has blessed me and carried me through some difficult times.  I am forever grateful, humbled, and praising His name!!!

The choices I've made in my life have brought me where I am today.  And not just the good choices, but the bad, too.  I chose to do what I wanted instead of listening to God in several situations and it led to guilt and shame... and overeating, which led to weight gain and declining health. 

I'm now trying to learn from those mistakes!  I want to be smarter, wiser, and obey God's voice even when His plan is different than mine.  I believe He knows what's best for me and it's for my good to further His kingdom.  I love that!  YAY GOD!  You're AMAZING!

I want to reflect on some of the things God has carried me through this past year.  Some serious high points and some low ones, but over all, I kept my faith strong in Him and He never left my side! 
  • I created my blog, sharing my high and low points - and everything in between - with the world!
  • I found the courage to share my blog posts on my personal Facebook page with friends, family, and co-workers (after days of avoiding it and trying to run... and not throw up)!
  • I eventually created a Facebook page and have reached over 1,080 'likes" (WHAT?)
  • The 'Dare to Dream' group I started at work grew in strength and numbers, and continues to meet twice a week!  Great connections have been made and the message of how recognizing and following your dreams can ignite you is traveling fast across the large corporation!
  • 'Dare to Dream' now has it's own intranet space with blogs I post to motivate and encourage associates to dream and not give up hope!  The space is now connected with other internal spaces, such as the corporate career/job posting page! 
  • I've continued to log my food for a year and have attempted to eat around 1,800 calories a day (good days and bad, of course)!
  • In May, I started having severe pain that was, at times, debilitating and kept me from moving much.  It resulted in surgery to remove a significant amount of endometriosis, in addition to a few other procedures.  Recovery was much slower and more painful than I anticipated.  I did very little moving for about a month and emotionally, I was really down and low with uncertainty about my dream of having a child of my own.  After suffering a total of three miscarriages, two within two months of each other in the fall of 2011, I began to question if the dream was worth the heartache I felt.  This span of time slowed my weight loss down and found me gaining back half the weight I'd already lost.  BUT I NEVER LOST TOUCH WITH MY DREAM OF GETTING RID OF IT AND MAINTAINING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE!
I think we need an intermission!  Laugh at this...

Okay, now back at it!
  • I received fitness gifts for Christmas last year and began doing Zumba and other fitness DVDs in my basement for a few months!
  • That got boring and, after recovery from my surgery, I FINALLY joined a gym and have been actively committed since the middle of October!
  • God has helped me discover how Satan uses insecurity and inferiority to keep us unfruitful, unproductive, and miserable - comparing ourselves to others and feeling terrible about our lives.  He's helped me stand against the gross devil and overcome!
  • Although I still struggle and battle with those feelings, I've come a lot further than I did in past attempts to lose weight!  I'm working hard to change my heart and the emotional connection to food, and I feel really good about the person I'm becoming!
  • You may have noticed I'm not mentioning an amount of weight lost... that's because I'm trying to break my relationship with the scale and I'm focusing more on forming new, good habits.  The number will follow in time and it'll all work out!
  • With the support of my husband, I overcame a few near-meltdowns in retail clothing stores.  This is a big deal! 
  • I've continued focusing on my dreams and started a dream book (using a Smash book and accessories).  It's helped me keep my dreams alive and my focus on making them my reality!  I'm getting closer!
  • The biggest victory for me this year... I HAVEN'T GIVEN UP!  Even when I messed up and felt like a failure, I haven't stopped desiring to see my dream come true... and that's part of what's kept me connected on this journey.  The support of family, friends, and you - the followers of this blog, has meant the WORLD to me.  I really can't thank y'all enough!

I haven't lost as much weight as I originally thought I would by this time, but I'm okay with that.  My dream is to get rid of it and keep it off, no matter how long that takes.  I'm happy with slow progress because it means I'm moving in the direction of my dreams.  If you're on a similar journey, please don't give up, even when it seems too difficult or overwhelming.  Just keep trying and moving forward.  Believe in yourself and surround yourself with people who believe in you, too. 


2012... it's been fun.

2013... let's make it ten times better! 

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Wednesday Wow Factor!

(Hey, it's the holidays... you can understand how I  could have forgotten yesterday was Wednesday!)

Week 52
Start date: 12/28/11
Initial weight:
Current weight:
205 (last weigh-in 11/29/12)
Total weight loss:
15 pounds!

Last week's dream focus: Dig deep inside me to find out why I'm beginning to slip back into old habits - figure out what's triggering this and FIX IT; keep adding weight training; refocus my thoughts about the amounts of foods I fix in the evening for the family; stay focused on my dream; and DON'T EVER GIVE UP!

What went well: I did another BURN class yesterday (the day after Christmas dinners and eating a too much food)!  I've improved since last week with eating, working out, and my mindset!  I broke out my dream Smash book and picked up where I left off last summer.  It was super exciting to see where I used to be, how far I've come, and where I may go from here!  I'm really hopeful and excited about 2013!  I believe great things are going to happen in my life and I believe I will see dreams come true! 
Challenges:  Obviously, Christmas time is a challenge in itself.  It's usually difficult to resist so much tasty food you usually only get one time a year.  I ate more than I would in a normal day and I enjoyed sweets and breads and casseroles.  I didn't feel good the next day because of the amount of food I consumed, but I also didn't let it get me down.  It was ONE DAY.  I'm over it!  The next day was new and I moved forward... and I went to BURN class... and I paid for it!  :)  But I loved it. 

This week's dream focus: Stay on the right path with eating and working out; continue with weight training and embrace the discomfort and pain; stay focused on my dreams; and trust that God's plan is so much better than what I could come up with!


Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Today Is New

Have you found yourself today thinking "Man, I really blew it yesterday.  I ate WAY too much food... foods I wouldn't normally eat.  I feel so awful about myself!"?

Me too.

You know the good news? 

That was yesterday... and THIS is today.

Today is new.  Today is made up of whatever we decide... whatever we choose.  Today is full of possibilities.  Today is a fresh beginning.  Today is pure, until we mess up.  But even then, the next minute is another chance to get it right and learn from that mistake! 


We don't have to wait until next Tuesday (New Year's Day) to start over or get on the right path.  We can start now! 

I know it can feel overwhelming.  It sometimes looks too difficult.  The mountain can seem awfully high.  But there are so many people who have dared to dream, dared to jump, and overcame!  Many of those people overcame challenges beyond what we face. 

You can do this.  I believe in you!  Just know you WILL mess up... more than once!  Be okay with that.  It's part of the process!  Learn from it and keep moving forward.  I continue to mess up but each time I do, I choose to forgive myself, I focus on how it made me feel, and I create a plan to make better decisions the next time! 

So yesterday was Christmas.  It was one day out of 365 days.  It was a time of gathering with family and eating traditional foods we may only get that one day a year.  So what!  There's no reason to wallow in guilt because you overate. 

That was yesterday.  Today is new...

Monday, December 24, 2012

Goals & Dreams

The article Consider Not Setting Goals in 2013, by Peter Bregman, was shared with me last week. Please take a few minutes to read it!

When a fellow associate, Charlie, read this article he shared with me his creative outlook on it. Here's what he said...

I like what he has to say about how sometimes our goals get in the way of what we really want. Still, it seems like maybe this is a case of throwing out the baby with the bath water.

Here’s what I mean.
homeruns. So, the focus was on teams scoring runs, players hitting balls as far as possible and raking in dollars. What was the result? Steroids. So, baseball says now, “Well, you can’t cheat (especially if you get caught)”. The irony is that baseball never had rules against using substances before. No one seemed to care about cheating until it became public.

What’s the point?
The problem was the goal itself. The goal fostered cheating. If the goal was something like “score more runs having players use their natural abilities as best they can without artificially enhancing them with performance enhancing drugs,” perhaps there wouldn’t be an issue.

What’s that mean?
It seems to me that it’s not setting goals that gets in the way. It’s what the goals tell us that is the problem. You said it yourself below: “I didn’t focus on the right areas at the right time.” Before you even set your goals, you have to seriously consider the crucial question: What is it that I really, honestly, truly want. Maybe goals should reflect an answer to that question. Goals shouldn’t just be a list of stuff we hope to get done.

So, perhaps we shouldn’t give up goals completely. Instead, can we reword them to point us to what we really want? Maybe that is a dream list. Call it what you want. It still gets you to the same place; at least, that’s how I will approach it.

Charlie gave a great illustration of defining your dream and determining, for yourself, exactly what you're willing to do to get there. Can you live with those decisions? Is a quick fix really the answer or does slow and steady win the race?

In my personal weight loss journey, I have a dream list and a goal list. In the beginning, I was doing well at meeting the goals I set to help me achieve my dream. But the first time I didn't meet one of the goals, I started to feel like a failure. I just wanted to give up and stop trying because it seemed "too hard". But you know what kept me form drowing?

My dream.

I began to realize it was way too important to me. The pros of losing weight and living a healthy life far outweighed the cons of continuing to do nothing.

When I took another look at my dream list and refocused asking "What is the real picture here… what do I really want for my life?", I was able to pick myself up, dust it off, and keep moving towards that dream. It is taking much longer than I wanted or expected to lose the weight and develop new, good habits, but I'm making a lifestyle change and I'm not using anything unnatural to speed up the process. My initial "timeline” of weight loss wasn't unrealistic, but it didn't account for the mistakes, trial and error, pain, surgery, or recovery I endured. When I stop to envision my dream, the desire for it to become my reality is much more important to me than making it happen in a certain time frame. I want it to LAST, even if that means it will take more time to work on all the areas I struggle with.

I went back to my goal list and made some changes. And I felt really good about them! Nothing is written in stone, we need to be flexible with our own goals. As you learn and experience new things, adjust your goals to make it work FOR YOU. Don't worry about what anyone else is doing. What works for some may not work for others.

To ignight my goals and dreams, I'm going to do the free 30 Day Challenge to Master Organization and Achieve Goals beginning January 1st!  I'd love for some of you to do it along with me for support and accountability! 

In the 30 Day Challenge, Chalene Johnson & team will e-mail daily support and information to help make meaningful change in our lives.  The goal-driven to-do list can help keep us organized and ensure our efforts reflect our goals and that we're living the life we were meant to live! This is an accountability group with only one IMPORTANT string... we have to commit to signing in to the website every day for 21 days and keep our to-do list.  That doesn't sound so bad, right? 

With a new year and a fresh start, why wouldn't we want to add something that may propell us to our dreams?  It takes 21 days to build a habit... where could we go in 30 days?



Friday, December 21, 2012

Afraid of Change?

Why do we worry so much about what could go wrong if we try something new, step out of our comfort zone, or take a risk?

So many times when I've thought about losing weight, my mind seemed to jerk the wheel directly towards fear and negative "what if's".  I would think things like...

"What if I lose a bunch of weight and get stretch marks and loose skin?"
"What if it's too hard to work out and maintain a commitment to the gym?"
"What if I have to give up the foods I enjoy to keep the weight off?"
"What if start doing well but then fail like I have so many times before?"

...and the list goes on and on.  Do you see the toxicity of dwelling on those kinds of thoughts?  There's nothing good that comes from allowing them to take up too much time and space in your mind.  When Satan bombards you with junk like that, DEFEND YOURSELF!  FIGHT BACK!  TAKE A STAND!


You can talk back to those thoughts!

"What if I lose a bunch of weight and get stretch marks and loose skin?"
"It's true, I'll probably have stretch marks and some loose skin, but what if I lose a bunch of weight and I feel better, gain confidence, find that my health improves, and I can shop in any store I want - not only stores that have clothes for my plus size?"

"What if it's too hard to work out and maintain a commitment to the gym?"
"I obviously won't be able to run a mile and do 100 push-ups the day I join the gym, but my dream is too important to me so I can find the patience to start slow and work my way to more reps and longer runs.  I can find things I enjoy doing at the gym - or elsewhere - and change it up, it won't feel like a burden - but I'll feel accomplished as I do a little more each time and see the weight come off!"

"What if I have to give up the foods I enjoy to keep the weight off?"
"I will need to make healthier choices, that's a given.  But I can enjoy small portions of those other foods in moderation, eating slowly to focus on how good it is rather than woofing it down before I realize what happened.  What if I begin to appreciate those times and start to love what eating healthy does for me?  What if begin to crave healthy foods and look at them as fuel, rather than comfort?"

"What if start doing well but then fail like I have so many times before?"
"What if focusing on my dream propells me to make it come true?  What if I start climbing my pile of trash (those mistakes from the past) and become successful?  What if I am able to use my story of overcoming to help others overcome?  WHAT IF I SHOW THE DEVIL HE CAN'T MAKE ME DO ANYTHING?"

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Climbing My Pile of Trash


We're all gonna face it.

And we're either going to allow it to overtake us and keep us stuck in misery or we'll rise above it and overcome!


I'm currently reading a book called "48 Days To The Work You Love" by Dan Miller.  In the foreword, Dave Ramsey painted such a clear picture of what it looks like to really overcome...

"In the last several years, while meeting and spending time with people who have become inordinately successful, I have observed several common traits among them.  Two of those traits stand out.  One is they have a calling, which they have discovered and are implementing.  The other is they have made mountains of mistakes in the process of becoming "successful."  The gleaming mountain of success is actually a pile of trash - a pile of the mistakes we have made.  The difference between the successful and the troubled is not error-free living; it is that by discovering and implementing a life calling, the successful stand on their pile of trash while the troubled sit under theirs."

I've never thought of a mountain of success as a pile of trash.  When I reflect on my past - on all the bad choices I've made, the mistakes, the trials and errors, "learning things the hard way" - I see how far I've come, how much I've learned, where I dream to go, and I feel like I'm climbing up my pile of trash, trying to make it to the top! 

Sometimes I wish I had never been overweight.  Sometimes I wish I had never decided to get married at nineteen years old.  Sometimes I wish I had followed my dream of being an interior designer instead of taking a job that paid well but didn't fulfill my passion.  Sometimes I wish I had used my voice and took a stronger stand for what I knew was right.

But those choices I made have brought me where I am today... and I would NOT change a thing!  I can relate to many people because of the things I've been through.  I share my struggles, challenges, lessons learned, and victories with others in the hope it will help them feel like they aren't alone.  I want to help them believe they can turn their pile of mistakes into a beautiful pile of successful trash!  They can be successful in weight loss, marriage, finances, career, parenting, step-parenting, blended family issues, and other struggles we face.  They CAN overcome!

I'm not there yet, but I'm on my way.  Every day presents challenges and adversity.  Sometimes I have to find more patience than the day before, but my dreams are important and I have to make them come true!

Are you smothered by your pile of trash, are you climbing to the top of it, or are you standing victorious with arms raised?

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Wednesday Wow Factor!

Week 51
Start date: 12/28/11
Initial weight:
Current weight:
205 (last weigh-in 11/29/12)
Total weight loss:
15 pounds!

Last week's dream focus: Keep adding weight training to build muscle, lose inches, and prevent sagging skin as I lose weight; read reminders of why I need to endure the discomfort of strengthening my muscles; refocus my thoughts about the amounts of foods I fix in the evening for the family; research good nutrition and start implementing better foods into each day; and stay focused on my dream!

What went well: I did the BURN class again with my sister-in-law and pushed a little harder than the week before.  I pushed through the reasonable pain and discomfort but didn't go too hard and injure myself!  I’ve been working hard to focus on my dreams and what I want for the future.  Even though I'm not going to make New Years resolutions, I am thinking about 2013 and how I want it to be different from - and better than - this year.

Challenges:  Since December arrived, I haven't gone to the gym as much as I did the past two months.  There's been a lot going on, but that's not an excuse.  People much busier than I am are making it to the gym and kickin' butt. 

My eating... Lord, please help me!  Each week I've eaten just a little more than the week before... and now I'm going over my calorie budget and it's starting to add up.  Little by little a little becomes a lot.  I have to gain control because going to the gym less and eating more is exactly what I DON'T need.  It's slowing the progress of reaching my dream!  I CANNOT ALLOW THAT.  I WILL NOT ALLOW IT.

And Satan's been trying to enter my mind with thoughts of "Oh eating this won't really matter this one time" and "It's okay if I eat whatever I want tonight because I can start over in the morning."  Well Chrissy, IT MATTERS!  Every time I talk back to those thoughts and overcome the urge to do what I shouldn't, I'm winning and I'm developing new, GOOD habits!  I have to stand firm against his schemes and say NO to these temptations!  God is greater!

This week's dream focus: Dig deep inside me to find out why I'm beginning to slip back into old habits - figure out what's triggering this and FIX IT; keep adding weight training; refocus my thoughts about the amounts of foods I fix in the evening for the family; stay focused on my dream; and DON'T EVER GIVE UP!

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

5 Ways to Progress Your Workouts

I found this article on Facebook today and it was perfect timing for me!  I didn't write it... it was written by Jon-Erik Kawamoto from, but I wanted to share it with you!


5 Ways to Progress Your Workouts

Stop stalling your progress in the gym by following these 5 simple rules to firing up your gains.

1. Progress Your Reps
When progressing your reps, add one rep to each set while keeping the weight and rest periods the same. 
A common set and rep scheme used for building size and strength is 5x5, made popular by Bill Starr. For example, say you bench press 225 pounds for 5 sets of 5. The next time you do this workout, try to perform 6 reps per set with 225 lb. If your reps end up looking like this: 6, 6, 5, 5, 4, keep working at this weight until you're able to complete all 5 sets of 6. Once you're able to complete 5x6, work your way up to 5x7. This progression works great up to 5 sets of 10.

2. Progress Your Sets
When progressing your sets, add one set to your total while keeping the weight and rest periods the same.
Say you're working on your power clean by doing 3 sets of 3. To progress this exercise, keep the weight and rest periods the same and attempt to be just as explosive in a fourth set. In the next week, try for 5 sets. Depending on what your goals are, this progression works well for up to 8-10 sets of 3.

3. Decrease Your Rest
When decreasing your rest between sets, try to keep the weight and rep/set scheme the same. This increases the difficulty of the exercise as you're challenging your body to recover faster. Using the above example of 5x5, instead of taking 3-min breaks, drop it to 2.5-min break while keeping the weight the same.

4. Tempo Progression
This is an uncommon progression method but works well for conditioning type workouts. Without sacrificing your form, attempt to complete the set faster, using the same weight as the previous workout. The key here is not losing your form for the sake of speed.
For example, if doing a program that calls for a certain number of reps in a given time frame, you would be employing this method of progression from workout to workout.

5. Progress the Weight
The most common method of progressing from one workout to the next uses this principle, however, many trainees do it wrong. The problem isn't the eagerness to move more weight, rather that their form isn't dialed in at the lower weight. For successful results and a lower injury risk, you're better off performing full range of motion reps with a lighter load than performing half sloppy reps with heavier loads. Half reps are great and have their place, but make sure you nail down your form with the full range version first.

Jon-Erik Kawamoto, MSc Kin(c), CSCS, CEP, is a Strength and Conditioning Specialist and Fitness Writer out of St. John's, Newfoundland, Canada. He contributes regularly to many major health and fitness magazines and websites and is currently in the middle of a master’s in exercise physiology at Memorial University. Check out more of his work at

Monday, December 17, 2012

Sore Muscles Mean I'm Closer To My Dream!

Last Tuesday, after doing the BURN class the night before, I posted this status update on my blog's Facebook page:

"I NEED HELP! Please help me convince myself that feeling really sore and stiff the next day (or two or three) after a workout is so worth it and not ludicrous! I don't want to give up on my dream!"

The response was overwhelming!  So many people commented with encouraging and supportive words.  And those words ran through my head tonight while I did my second BURN class!  This is PROOF that surrounding yourself with people who lift you up can do wonderful things for you!  To those of you who offered those encouraging words - "thank you"!  It's really helping me!

Here's a list of those awesome comments!  I know I'll be referring to them often until they become my own thoughts.  They're already beginning to sink in!

"It is your body telling you in simple words that you have worked very hard and it needs to repair to become stronger so that next time you can work harder!"

"Pain is weakness leaving the body!"

"It is worth it! Every time you feel that soreness, remind yourself that it's because you ROCKED an awesome workout, making your body stronger and healthier. You got this!!!"

"You're sore because you are working it girl! No pain no gain right??!!! As John Cougar says "hurts so good"!!! You won't give up because if you do then I will question my own hard work - and it's all about ME! :) You are amazing Chrissy. Hang in there! and try a heating pad."

"It is so worth it! I saw something the other day that said the pain you feel today is what you will be admiring in days to come!"

"It will be well worth every bit of pain when you reach your goal and see the results that you desire. Keep going girl!"

"It lets me know I did something. If I'm not a little sore I don't feel like I've accomplished anything. Press on, reach your goal, and crush it."

"Look how far you have come!  Look at what you have endured!  You WILL NOT go back through that again.  A little pain is nothing a strong soul can't handle.  Keep going!!!"

"It's the best feeling in the world.  Don't give up!  It just reminds you how tough you are getting!"

"I couldn't walk for almost 3 days after I climbed 150 flights of stairs and now in march in climbing 70 flights for the American Lung Association.

"I have been sore for almost a week hurts like heck but I love it!  You should definitely feel good about yourself now that you are crazy worked your body well!!"

"By simply reaching out for help in finding a way to reframe the pain and see it as something positive you are WINNING! That is exactly how it's done. You are in very good company. Soreness is a part of the journey to health and every person who has walked the path you are now just beginning has felt exactly how you feel. And they pushed through. You will too. Welcome to the club!"

"I'm so jealous! It's the best feeling in the world when your body's sooooo sore and you need to go to the bathroom and you can't just sit down on the toilet like you usually do. Instead, you have to fall straight back because your legs hurt too bad to bend and you're just praying that you land in the right spot!"  [This one came from a member of my family... I love my cousin!]

"It's a reminder there are results in the making.. trust me go see my results folder many times of nearly vomiting and coming home to epsom salt baths... yessaaaaa   Pee standing.. very familiar although being able to squat makes great for public restrooms!"

"It is good but you should never feel so sore that you can't walk, especially when it comes to weights. A little sore is good but too sore and you may just need to lower the weights or tweak your form form."

"Girlie, I've been sore for 2 years! This is how I know it's worth it: this morning I put on a pair of jeans that are usually pretty snug (you know, the "good butt" jeans!). By the time I got to work, I realized I should have worn a belt! They're so loose in the waist, my shirt won't stay tucked in! Keep it'll get there!"

"The best pain to feel - it feels good! Woot! You go girlie!"

"You go girl. Do what you want and look what the reward is. Love"

"Keep doing it consistently and it will go away, until you step it up a notch again and then it starts over, but each time it gets better and you feel better! I promise!!!"

"You are an inspiration! Just subscribed, read your post and felt good supporting you! But my message means more than backing you up...means I want to see you succeed, you are the flag I keep my eyes on so I reach the same destination! Fly high!"

"I absolutely love what you have going here A way to all connect and hold each other accountable.  I have SO been there, and reading all these posts bring back so many memories. You CAN do it everyone, I did!  FYI, sore is good! Remember that means all your hardwork is working!! It gets easier one workout at a time

"This is so worth it! The soreness wont always be there! You gotta break it down to rebuild! Think of it as a REGROWTH! A new you! xo hugs"

"Those aches and pains and the desire to cry when I'm walking down a set of stairs because my thighs are on fire has become my favorite part of working out. Makes me feel productive. I'm disappointed if something doesn't ache

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Likers Gonna Like

Everyone has an opinion on almost every situation.  I respect that!  If our opinions or feelings differ, that's okay.  We won't always see things the same way.  We come from different backgrounds and the choices we've made have shaped our lives and thoughts, leading us where we are today.

Creating my blog and Facebook page to share my personal struggles and successes in my weight loss journey and life opens the door for others to express their thoughts and feelings.  I welcome comments, especially if they're inspiring, motivating, thought-provoking, and encouraging!  I love the support I receive from people I know and so many I've never met.  It really helps when I see how many others have made their dream come true... it makes me believe it will happen for me, too!

So, to ensure my dreams to come true, I plan to move barriers that could keep me from them.  I'm going to eliminate as much negativity from my life as possible and replace it with anything that will lift my spirits and help me believe in myself.

When someone posts hurtful, mean-spirited, or spiteful words on my page, I will delete them and ban the user from accessing it in the future.  The past Chrissy would have been too worried about what someone might think if she deleted their comment or blocked them.  She cared so much what others thought and never wanted someone not to like her.  

The new Chrissy, who's trying hard to make her dreams come to life, still cares very deeply about others but will not allow herself to be hurt, walked on, torn down, belittled, or her dreams to be crushed.  She now recognizes how Satan uses the insecurities and inferiority of others to keep her from reaching her dreams.  

What makes me sad is how people allow their insecurities to consume them, damaging relationships and stealing their joy. By focusing so much on what they don't have and on the negative things that have happened, they miss out on the happiness and blessings of today.  Those who want to change will benefit from the inspiration others have to offer.  Those who enjoy being victims will try to tear you down because they're hurting, too.  Unfortunately, they won't be inspired and motivated with this negative, tunnel vision.

Proverbs 9:8-10 helped me see this so clearly and removed a lot of pressure.  I hope it helps you!  I added the New International Version and The Message version... it's SO FREEING!

Proverbs 9:8-10  (NIV)
Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you;
    rebuke the wise and they will love you.
Instruct the wise and they will be wiser still;
    teach the righteous and they will add to their learning.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,
    and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.

Proverbs 9:8-10 (The Message)
If you reason with an arrogant cynic, you’ll get slapped in the face;
    confront bad behavior and get a kick in the shins.
So don’t waste your time on a scoffer;
    all you’ll get for your pains is abuse.
But if you correct those who care about life,
    that’s different—they’ll love you for it!
Save your breath for the wise—they’ll be wiser for it;
    tell good people what you know—they’ll profit from it.
Skilled living gets its start in the Fear-of-God,
    insight into life from knowing a Holy God.

The bottom line...

Thursday, December 13, 2012

12 Negative Thoughts Holding You Back

I've said many times I don't enjoy victim mentality, I don't enjoy being around people who seem to embrace it, and I will fight hard to avoid falling into the "victim trap".   Victimization is negative.  It's a direct result of insecurity and inferiority... and Satan's very good at using these against us.  

I've been a victim before and I don't at all enjoy thinking about who I was during those times.  I want to be different.  I want to be positive.  I want to live a life that pleases God, my family, and ME!  I want to leave others feeling better about themselves after spending time with me or reading something I wrote.  And not for my glory, but to glorify God and to build others up.

I came across this list of 12 Negative Thoughts Holding You Back .  Some people might look at this list as ugly, but I think it's a beautiful, eye-opening guide of how to get closer to your dream!  

"We are addicted to our thoughts.  We cannot change anything if we cannot change our thinking."  
(This list courtesy of

  1. "My past is indicative of my future."
    • Failed attempts and mistakes are part of the growth process.  They are valuable experiences.
    • Being defeated is a temporary condition; giving up is what makes it permanent   
  1. "I care what they think of me.”
    • Ignore the rude people who talk about you behind your back
    • True strength is being wise enough to walk away from the nonsense proudly
  1. "I’ll do what makes me happy someday.”
    • Today is the oldest you’ve even been and the youngest you’ll ever be again
    • The perfect moment to follow your values and pursue your own dreams is now
  1. "I can’t,“ “It’s too late,“ “I’m not good enough,” etc.
    • Our attitude shifts our sails and ultimately determines not only our final destination, but more importantly, the voyage and experiences along the way
  1. "There’s so much that could go wrong.”
    • Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start thinking of what could go right
    • Be thankful for all the positive things you have to fuel an even brighter tomorrow
  1. "I will never forgive you.”
    • Forgive them.  You have learned about trust & being cautious when you open your heart
    • You are stronger now and better equipped to find the kind of love you deserve
  1. "I don’t like them because they’re broken.”
    • Be someone who builds and nurtures with an understanding, forgiving heart and looks for the best in people and leave them a little stronger than before
    • Don’t sum up a person’s entire existence in one moment
  1. "I am too unhappy to make anyone else happy.”
    • Happiness is a boomerang.  When you catch yourself felling unhappy, do something small that makes someone else happy.  When they smile, it will be hard not to smile back.
  1. "I can’t trust anyone.”
    • We often keep our hearts closed because we don’t trust ourselves to survive the pain again
    • We come to realize our true strength through hurt and sufferings
  1. "Everyone else is doing it, so it must be right.”
    • Live YOUR life
    • Never hide who you are
    • The only shame is to have shame
    • Stand up for what you believe in
  1. "It will never get better.”  “It will never get worse.”
    • Appreciate every great moment
    • Take one day at a time
    • All moments, good or bad, won’t last forever
  1. "I don’t have time to dream.”
    • The real tragedy in life lies in having no dream to reach
    • You don’t have to see the whole staircase, you just have to take one step at a time